Tales From the Supermarket Pt. II

Apparently people feel strongly about supermarkets. I know I do. I have tried to stock up on good supermarket karma. I always park far away from the store leaving the closer spots for people with lots of tiny children, and the elderly. I return my shopping cart to the designated areas. I do not leave unwanted items just lying willy-nilly at any part of the store. Despite these good citizen tactics it NEVER FAILS, I always pick the slowest check out lane. Because I AM a good citizen and would never think to hop into an express lane if I had too many items... I try to see which lane is going to be the most effective. I factor in amount of groceries, adeptness of the checker, potential coupon clipper. But honestly, it NEVER FAILS, I will get in a line where they change checkers and the unmotivated pot smoker takes far longer than necessary to scan the items. Of the person in front of me decides to pay with a check, then the check doesn't check out, so off to customer service. Or one of my items scans wrong and they have to send out a search party to determine whether the actual price was 1.47 or 1.49. Or (my favorite) the cash register/debit card machine decides to break. I have given up... now I will choose my lane based upon which candy bar combination I would be least likely to buy and which trashy tabloids I want to peruse while waiting... and waiting... and waiting...

Comments

smithfieldman said…
Here's my supermarket story for ya. I was in a line to see a friend who was a checker that day, but her line was going slow, so another checker came up and was like I can help you. So, I immediately hopped over to that line and got out a lot faster than I would've if I stayed in that other line.

---Maybe you should change supermarkets?
The Rage said…
I've become a fan of the self-checkout lines. Generally speaking, if it takes a long time it's because I'm the idiot that doesn't know how to weigh some apples. Fortunately, my three months experience bagging grocercies at the sweet age of 16(before being fired - I hated it there anyway) really finetuned my skilz.
stewedslacker said…
Supermarkets. *sigh, food procurement has never been easier in history, and yet sometimes I think that I might prefer chasing a mastodon with a flint spear until it fell off of a cliff.

Another problem is that I often find myself in the supermarket when I am hungry... which is a bad because then I always end up with doritos, poptarts, and twixes that I didn't need.