Tales From the Supermarket Pt. II
Apparently people feel strongly about supermarkets. I know I do. I have tried to stock up on good supermarket karma. I always park far away from the store leaving the closer spots for people with lots of tiny children, and the elderly. I return my shopping cart to the designated areas. I do not leave unwanted items just lying willy-nilly at any part of the store. Despite these good citizen tactics it NEVER FAILS, I always pick the slowest check out lane. Because I AM a good citizen and would never think to hop into an express lane if I had too many items... I try to see which lane is going to be the most effective. I factor in amount of groceries, adeptness of the checker, potential coupon clipper. But honestly, it NEVER FAILS, I will get in a line where they change checkers and the unmotivated pot smoker takes far longer than necessary to scan the items. Of the person in front of me decides to pay with a check, then the check doesn't check out, so off to customer service. Or one of my items scans wrong and they have to send out a search party to determine whether the actual price was 1.47 or 1.49. Or (my favorite) the cash register/debit card machine decides to break. I have given up... now I will choose my lane based upon which candy bar combination I would be least likely to buy and which trashy tabloids I want to peruse while waiting... and waiting... and waiting...
Comments
---Maybe you should change supermarkets?
Another problem is that I often find myself in the supermarket when I am hungry... which is a bad because then I always end up with doritos, poptarts, and twixes that I didn't need.