Sunday, February 28, 2010

Small Towns

Okay. I was brought up in a SMALL town. A ridiculously small town... a town so small, that your small town would be a bustling metropolis by comparison. If you go to googlemaps and look at the street views of Fruitland, Utah, you will see pictures of sage brush and the odd lake or two. Funny, but entirely accurate. I didn't mind spending my formidable years in a town where there was only one other person my age, or where the neighbors felt the need to alert my parents of any missteps in etiquette and adherence to the speed limit (I forgive you, Mary Baum). As a result my brothers and I are all relatively well adjusted adults with superb imaginations and the inability to be bored.

Even though I currently reside in suburbia (despite our proximity to Yaks and Alpacas), I appreciate the small town ideals with which I was raised. This weekend the Beardocrat and I dropped in on the folks for some birthday cake and some snow shoeing, and I was again reminded of how great my crappy small town is.

My mom is Chiliean (hence the Latin Fury moniker) and a majority of her family lives in Chile. Early Saturday morning the earthquake that hit Concepcion Chile made the news. All day long my parents received calls from concerned neighbors asking if our family was okay. Doug Robinson, who I doubt has spoken a total of ten sentences to my Mom in his whole life, was one of the first to call. THAT is why I love Fruitland. Would I ever return to live? Oh heavens no, but I appreciate a place where people still care enough about others in the community to call or drop by offering sincere condolences. If everyone acted like they were raised in Fruitland, the world would indeed be a better place.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Open Letter

Dear Pigeon-Toed Girls:

Please do not wear skinny jeans and ballet flats.



PS- Also, if you have a hammer toe... sandals are also a bad idea.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Gum Tester

On occasion, Okay very often, I love to try the new gum flavors. I can't seem to resist buying a new pack each time I am in the grocery checkout. I have my favorite gum (Orbit! Any of the mint combinations that don't involve a fruit), but I am always curious about the new flavors. As a result I have been burned in the most disgusting ways (I am looking at YOU Orbit Pomegranate, and YOU Exotic Berry). I try to stop, but it is one of the things I love.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Good Mix

Continuing my happy-go-lucky theme for February of things I love... good music is right up there on that list, particularly a good mix. You see very lovely artwork for a February 08 mix Bitter/Sweet compiled by the Beardocrat and yours truly (in a limited capacity as the Beardocrat admitted that he was unwilling to pay my hefty consultation fee). Bitter/Sweet represents all that is great in art and Music. The Beardocrat designed the cover work and selected the songs and I still listen to that mix on a regular basis. Happily, you can download the two disk compilation!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Smell of Laundry

Can I help that the smell of laundry being washed and dried is WONDERFUL? No, I can't. It is the only thing that makes actually DOING laundry bearable. The types of perfumes I enjoy are those that boast of a 'clean linen' smell, or 'mountain spring', or other laundry related scents. When I was little, the Latin Fury would hang the sheets on the line and I would run through just smelling them. I have had to restrain myself somewhat as an adult, but I am sure heaven will smell like someone is doing a load of Laundry with some Spring Fresh detergent/fabric softener.

Nicknaming Things/People

Yes, I must confess that I love to nickname people, places, and things. Nouns if you will. I was probably born with this particular quirk of character and have been nicknaming since I was a wee one. I've had my own share of nicknames through the years and hope to have more as time passes on. Here is a current list of some of my favorite nicknames.

Potato Face- this nickname serves a) the particular phenomenon of a type of round shaped face. I find it hard to describe but I know it when I see it. It is actually complementary as I also really like potatoes; b) a smallish nursery age child who lives across the street from us and dressed as a vampire for Halloween.

Skindependent- This is a play of the nickname Beardocrat given to my very own Beardocrat to honor his facial hair and political affiliation at the time. Well, he shaved, and became an Independent, so I had to update Brad's ingenious nickname.

Audrby- This is my sister-in-law whose name I didn't know for a long time. I couldn't tell if it was Aubry or Audry, so I combined them... and Wa-la!

Skinny McSkinnerson- This was my nephew's nickname for a while. His brother is Chunky McChunkerson. The joy is, there are no ends to this nickame.

Two face- This is the phenomena that certain actors and regular people of being attractive when looked at from one particular perspective, but from a different angle look fairly ordinary. Examples of the two face are Antonio Banderas, that guy who plays Jack on Lost, and most of the actors the tweens are fawning over these days.

Scandrew/Fandy- This nickname is about a friend ALSO nicknamed Freakishly Tall. Fandy is a shortened Fat Andy, and Scandrew is Skinny Andrew. Fandy was an accident, as this person is not fat and he only goes by Andy when in Smithfield and Fruitland.

The Latin Fury- Technically stewedslacker thought this one up, but it sticks. That name goes out to my own dear madre.

I have a whole list of work nicknames, church nicknames, and friend nicknames. But those are for another place and another time.

Monday, February 8, 2010


This might come as a bit of a shock to you, but I adore owls. Yes. I do. I have no idea why. Once in fifth grade I wrote an epic masterpiece called "Owls". It was pretty much paraphrased information from the encyclopedia, but I thought it was genius. I particularly like these little ones (and those on the night skiing billboard).

Bionic Eyes

Lasik Hurt. Anyone who says it doesn't didn't have their cornea burned off. That being said, the bionic eyes are wonderful. WONDERFUL.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Hound's Tooth

Yes, I love me some Hound's Tooth material. I am going to be honest. I do not recall owning (or ever having owned) anything made from Hound's Tooth. But as far as material names go, Hound's Tooth wins every time. Say it to yourself. Hound's Tooth. Hound's tooth... it just rolls off the tongue. And where did it originate? Scotland. Go Scots! Not only do you bring Paisely and Tartan to the mix, you also gave us Hound's Tooth.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

You Can Take the Girl Out of Fruitland...

But you can't take Fruitland out of the girl... I promise. I HEART Patsy Cline, and all Classic Country Music. Yes, CLASSIC. Nothing (much) after 1980 strikes my country fancy. But in honor of Valentine's Day I am posting about things that make me smile.