Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Regrets... I've Had A Few... But Then Again...

Lately I have been thinking about regrets. I (and I am aware this is cheesy, so feel free to mock if you must) do try to live life with no regrets... but every now and then, I DO regret something. Here is an incomplete list.

1- Never running the Ragnar when I was at my physical peak. I was offered the chance to do it when someone dropped off of a team. I didn't know anyone on the team, it was last minute, and the person looking was my roommate's co-worker who I'd never met. I declined because staying awake and sweating it out seemed like something I'd want to do with people I knew. In retrospect, how wrong I was. Sweating is something to do with strangers, and I am sad that I missed that opportunity, especially given that I will never be organizing a team of my own, and what with the being pregnant and recovering from post pregnancy chub... well, I doubt it will happen now.

2- Never running the St. George Half Marathon. Also given the opportunity when someone dropped out. It was, again, late notice. The girl who invited me was part of a running group I ran with (yes, skeptics, I ran with a running group every Wednesday for over a year). She was married and had a pack of kids and the idea of staying with her and her children at her parents house in St. George for the weekend seemed like an intrusion. I wish I would have done it. If only to say I'd run the St. George half marathon.

3-Leaving my writing group. I used to be a member of a writing group. I hooked up with the group after a BYU writing workshop that I attended for writers of children's books and young adult novels. They were a diverse and interesting group that gave great feedback and encouraged all writing efforts. It was nice to talk about what I was working on with people who 'got it'. Sadly, they met on Wednesday evenings, and so did my running group. I just kind of dropped out without returning calls or emails. That I regret.

4- Not continuing to play with the Shottee Sheep. So, I once played indoor soccer. It was pretty intense as my team was comprised of girls that played in high school and college, and I had once coached an intramural team as a favor, for a friend. That was the extent of my soccer ability. But my friend, Lena, asked me to come along and I joined the team. Everyone was married (except me) and their husbands would come and yell at the refs, and the opposing teams, and even our own team. It was ridiculous, but I enjoyed it. They wanted to get the team back together the next season, but I told them the time commitment was a bit much. If I had it to do all over again, I'd have played with them until the team dissolved.

5- Not golfing in Chile. I also regret not golfing in Scotland while I was there, but I picked up golf post Scotland, so that isn't terribly realistic. The last time I was in Chile, I knew how to golf, so I should have taken the time and made it happen, since it is a goal to golf on all the continents, minus Antarctica. Thus far I only have one... so I have a way to go.

6- Not paying attention in Church when I didn't have children. NO ONE TOLD ME that I might never be spiritually nourished in Church until my children leave home. I really wish I had known to stock up on some oil for my lamp because these Sundays I spend my entire 3 hour block chasing children, trying to quiet children, or wishing I was somewhere else. Mainly, my bed. I don't know why I squandered precious Sundays by day dreaming, or chatting with friends, or whatever else I did.

7-Not working harder at Math when I came home from a Chile trip as a youngin'. Back when they tested for Math in Jr. High., I came out at the top of the heap. I was put into pre algebra, taking algebra in 8th grade, and algebra II and Trig as a Freshman. When I went to Chile for a few months, I knew that I'd be unable to keep up, so I decided to transfer back down to regular algebra. After that I never enjoyed math, and never did well... Hello BYU GPA! And thanks Calculus for making my life hell. I DO wish that I had kept up my studies and continued in Math. Ah, laziness...

8- Not singing live Jazz at The Malt Shovel. When I lived in Scotland, my favorite pub was the Malt Shovel. Every Tuesday a D'jango style jazz band would come play. I LOVED them. And I became friendly enough with the old duffers that they invited me to 1) tour a whiskey distillery where one of them worked and 2) sing with them. I never made it to the whiskey place either, but I do feel sad that I never got to sing with them because they were great. And singing live jazz is also on my list of things to do before I die.

9- Reading James Joyce's Ulysses... TWICE!

10- Never properly executing a cartwheel. I know this seems silly, but if you knew HOW MUCH TIME I spent as a girl/teenager/woman trying to do a cartwheel... you'd feel for me. My body just refuses the physics of it all. The last attempt was about 3 years ago in a church hallway while a group of us were cleaning the building for Sunday Services. I was confident that somehow, someway, all my previous failed attempts had led to that moment of triumph. I was wrong, and got a rug burn to prove it.


Marcy said...

I wish you had done #8 the most. Because I've always secretly wished someone would ask me to sing with them.

And, to be at a physical peak rather than carry baby baggage...I so hear you!

stewedslacker said...

Interesting self analysis. Interesting that you point to the Chile trip as to the moment your enjoyment of math died. I do the same. I am confident that if you live right, and do all that you should, that some day in heaven you will be doing cartwheels for hours. :)

smithfieldman said...

I think now that you've done your regret post -- that you should do one of a list of triumphs. Cause I think all well-rounded individuals have both regrets and triumphs. Anyways, I applaud your goal to golf on every continent. I have golfed once and never had the desire to do it again.