Monday, January 26, 2009

Statute of Limitations

The other evening I had the pleasure of attending P&P Night--Pizza and pictionary--at a dear (yes, dear) friend's home. Among the other exalted guests were a couple (?) who will be called Delhan and April. Delhan--because it is his nickname according to me and April--because that is what I thought her name was... the entire night. How many hours did I call her April over and over and over again, you ask? Well, plenty. There was even an entire game of pictionary when we were partners and I would give her occasional high fives and shout "Well drawn, April!" and stuff of that nature. NOT ONCE did April correct me.

It turns out... April's name is Hannah.


And the kicker is that April didn't even bother to tell me. Delhan had to say that her name was Hannah. So for me... She will forever be April. (I saw April again recently and called her April for another two hour period.)

So I propose a statute of limitations. You have a two mistaken name window. If you don't correct someone about your name by the third offense, you have no right to complain and you shall henceforth and forever be known as the incorrect name. A La the April Incident with a strict 'no exceptions' policy.

Now, just to prove that I am no hypocrite I will relate another story. After the April Incident I went to a party. At this party were several people that I didn't know, in addition to a friend's parents. I was in the kitchen discussing gourmet recipes, proper child rearing, and quilting (you know, things moms and I have in common) when I noticed that my friend's mom kept talking about this Melissa girl. I didn't know Melissa, so I just nodded and smiled. And because my smile is pretty charming the conversation went pretty easily. When it was time to leave I asked my hostess to show me to my coat. My friend's mom picked up my coat and handed it to me, saying, "Is this yours, Melissa?" I found that I was so startled I stumbled out into the snow with the realization that I had nodded, mumbled something about the dinner she'd prepared, and blinked a lot. I did not think to correct her. And so, to my friend's mom... I will always be Melissa, and I am okay with that.


Casey said...

I would like to note that this isn't the first time you have been called Melissa.

I seem to remember a broken glass and a waiter reassuring you that "this happens all the time, Melissa."

So apparently it is an easy mistake.

politicchic6 said...

I seem to remember you had a little more to do with the broken glass AND the mistaken identity that you are leading the cyberworld to believe.

Wendy said...

Jacob had a classmate who also worked near his office and would come to get Jacob's help all the time on the homework. Jacob thought this guy's name was Carl and called him Carl all the time. Turns out Carl's name is Craig, but Carl/Craig never corrected Jacob! So, now Jacob calls him Carl just out of spite.

Nolo and Lauren said...

must run in the family... i don't think, but once, that your mom ever called me anything but Lorna.

The Rage said...

I like it. I'm going to intentionally start calling people by a "wrong" name and see if they correct me. If not, I'll just keep calling them that. I'll be sure to pick stunners like Ethel and Mortimer. I can't wait - Thanks for the post Melissa.

stewedslacker said...

I KNOW!!! I have been calling this guy "Evan" at work since I started 4 or so months ago. Turns out that his real name is Drew. Shifty bastards.

smithfieldman said...

What I've been calling you Melissa for years and you've never corrected me!