Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Dark Knight VS Wall-E

Recently I watched two of the summer's most hyped movies Wall-E and The Dark Knight. CPR is devoted to bringing the world accurate movie reviews (see The Work and The Glory review on the old blog: www. cynicpicnic.blogspot.com), and as a result put these two movies head to head in a series of categories. Though I can not explain the exact mathematical calculations to determine the final winner (far too complex for the average human to understand) the results were definitive:

The Winner is...

Underlying Theme:
Wall-E wins based solely upon the hope factor. It shows the ability to step out of ones element to do great things. It also has an underlying self reliance theme which I am a fan of.

Please. Maggie Gyllenhal as Rachel Dawes...yuck. Wall-E wins again


I am sorry. I just love Christian Bale. Ever since Newsies I knew we would one day be destined to never meet, but I would cherish an unrequited situation for him for the rest of my mortal existence, maybe even my post mortal existence. Batman wins, though Wall-E is a great hero.

Tie. Both had decent plots. Batman trying to relinquish his position of protector and defender of Gotham and get the girl at the same time while a psycho is on the loose...I can get behind it.
Wall-E inadvertently saving the day while staying near the robot he loves...also good.

Wall-E wins. Even though a large portion of the dialogue in this movie is "Wall-E" and "Eve" it is still more compelling than having every single character in Batman repeat that Harvey Dent is a hero, and the best among them, and the strongest, and that he is a white knight. Yeah, I get that the character is supposed to illustrate an anti-batman, someone working within the realms of the law, but I don't need it repeated seven times. I caught it the first time.

Action Sequences
Wall-E wins, this is because I am a girl and the 20 minute chase scenes never appeal to me. I don't care what anyone...particularly Beardocrats...have to say about the matter, a semi tipping over and exploding cars NEVER further the plot.

The Dark Knight also has gratuitous violence going against it. I was all prepared for a darker batman because I like dark, but dark and gory are two separate things and the Dark Knight crossed into the gory realm. I am not opposed to violence, let it be clear, but this seems over the top and not a movie I'd take my hypothetical kids to.


Casey said...

So this is what you are doing when you are supposed to be at working IMing???????

smithfieldman said...

I think you might be the only person in the world who didn't like this movie.
Good thing BD knows a good action sequence when he sees one. That is an important quality.
I am going to go see it again, and you know how movies flee from K-can so quickly.

Wall-E was good, but I didn't think it was that great. Did it convince you to be environmentally conscience now?

KC said...

I haven't seen WALL-E yet so I'll have to take your word for it. I agree with most of what you said about Batman, but are you saying that Katie Holmes made a better Rachel? Come on!

stewedslacker said...

Oh shut up you, you are lame in your old age. I am siding with the beardocrat and everyone else on this one.

stewedslacker said...

Oh, and I am with you in hating that chick...

The Rage said...

I liked it.

Gobbers said...

While I have to agree that I did like Wall-E in more aspects than I did with DK, you forgot one mitigating factor that I would credit Dark Knight for. Best Villain? That would definitely have to be Heath Ledger's Joker. I mean Auto, without a doubt, is the coolest robot villain (might I say even surpassing HAL), but the Joker just swept it away. Such a great performance. If you haven't already, I highly recommend seeing both NOW.

Marcy said...

Heavens, why didn't I check out your blog earlier? Now I can get a daily (wait--do you post daily?) dose of Michele--which is a very good thing.

I am so with you on Christian Bale. Ever since Newsies for me too!