Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Things I Have Learned About Myself... Bathroom Remodel Edition Part One

*Backstory: Our house has four full bathrooms. I have never been a decorator. I simply have never cared what a house LOOKS like. I am more concerned about ceiling height and flow. My only opinions when it comes to decor are that vinyl letters are disgusting, and I like clean walls.

I am not sure how it happened, or why, but earlier last year I decided that we needed to do something about the bathrooms. When we moved in initially, I knew we'd need new shower curtains, but I thought that was it. Months later, still without proper shower curtains, we decided we needed to redecorate all of them.

I think all this transpired around the time we decided to put our townhome on the market and I started watching home improvement shows while I was at the gym. It began innocently enough with shows about selling homes so I could nod and grumble and relate. Then it morphed into DIY shows on hulu and shows about Sweat Equity and then Bang For Your Buck. While I was watching these pseudo educational programs I realized that I DID have some opinions about what I was seeing. I had LOTS of opinions. With the bathrooms, I could put those many opinions into practice. Now that I am engaged in the process, I've learned the following things.

Thing One: I am a control freak
This, I will admit, I've been told a time or two. If I ever doubted it, I certainly have proof. Before I began the process, I planned. And planned. And planned. The Beardocrat asked me to make a pinterest board (I know, I rolled my eyes as well, but apparently my use of "You know it will look kind of like brown, with some green" didn't evoke the mental images I'd supposed they would) so he could see what I was going for. Then he offered opinions. I DID NOT APPRECIATE THOSE OPINIONS. See, control freak.

Thing Two: I believe in loose themes
I do. I believe in them, but when people get too literal about them... I think it goes into cheeseville, which is not what I want in my bathroom. For the kids' bathroom upstairs I wanted a jungle theme. I can not express just how difficult it has been to find things that aren't cheesy, and that work with the vanity which I did not want to replace. Themes are important. They tie things together. Also, when you say jungle and kids all the sudden you only find cartoon artwork. Finally FINALLY on etsy, I was able to find some art work that I found acceptable.

Thing Three: Champaign taste, beer budget
I guess that isn't necessarily true. I am cheap, independent of size of budget. I gave myself pretty low budgets and looked into salvaging everything I could from the current bathrooms. Now that I am actually spending money for hardware and accessories, I realize that I like the good stuff. I like quality. I like beautiful fixtures. I like the idea of walking into something that looks like a model bathroom... I just don't want to PAY for it.

Thing Four: I hate throwing good things away
Many of the items in our bathrooms are serviceable, and not exactly ugly. They just don't fit with what I am trying to do. They don't work with my 'vision'. So I truly agonized over form versus function on this one. I despise getting rid of functional things, until I found out I could donate the hardware to Habitat for Humanity and they could be used by people who needed them. I still feel pangs about the loss, but they are lessened knowing the goods will find a new and appreciative home.

Thing Five: I have a vision
Like Lehi of old, I have a vision. I can see it in my mind, and it is awesome. One bathroom overflowing with hipster cherry blossoms, one in nautical victorian inspired, and on happy jungle oasis for children who will never understand the amount of effort that went into my dream. The Beardocrat does NOT have the vision, and as I said, I have a difficult time explaining what I see in terms the graphic designer might understand.


smithfieldman said...

The downstairs bathroom in my house growing up was remodeled with a jungle theme in mind. That's why there's the picture of tigers and poison dart frogs inside. I also find that I have good taste and like the more expensive items, but don't exactly want to pay more for them.

stewedslacker said...

I was shocked, SHOCKED, to hear that you have lots of opinions that you use to bludgeon your good-natured husband into submission with. And nothing says 'jungle' like lots of live plants, maybe Consuelo and Steve could teach you a thing or two about excessive flora and fauna...