Monday, January 26, 2009

Statute of Limitations

The other evening I had the pleasure of attending P&P Night--Pizza and pictionary--at a dear (yes, dear) friend's home. Among the other exalted guests were a couple (?) who will be called Delhan and April. Delhan--because it is his nickname according to me and April--because that is what I thought her name was... the entire night. How many hours did I call her April over and over and over again, you ask? Well, plenty. There was even an entire game of pictionary when we were partners and I would give her occasional high fives and shout "Well drawn, April!" and stuff of that nature. NOT ONCE did April correct me.

It turns out... April's name is Hannah.

Hannah!?

And the kicker is that April didn't even bother to tell me. Delhan had to say that her name was Hannah. So for me... She will forever be April. (I saw April again recently and called her April for another two hour period.)

So I propose a statute of limitations. You have a two mistaken name window. If you don't correct someone about your name by the third offense, you have no right to complain and you shall henceforth and forever be known as the incorrect name. A La the April Incident with a strict 'no exceptions' policy.

Now, just to prove that I am no hypocrite I will relate another story. After the April Incident I went to a party. At this party were several people that I didn't know, in addition to a friend's parents. I was in the kitchen discussing gourmet recipes, proper child rearing, and quilting (you know, things moms and I have in common) when I noticed that my friend's mom kept talking about this Melissa girl. I didn't know Melissa, so I just nodded and smiled. And because my smile is pretty charming the conversation went pretty easily. When it was time to leave I asked my hostess to show me to my coat. My friend's mom picked up my coat and handed it to me, saying, "Is this yours, Melissa?" I found that I was so startled I stumbled out into the snow with the realization that I had nodded, mumbled something about the dinner she'd prepared, and blinked a lot. I did not think to correct her. And so, to my friend's mom... I will always be Melissa, and I am okay with that.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Object of My Affection

The following are emails exchanged yesterday between a certain Smithfieldman and politicchic6
Andy:
Right now I am listening to one of my other favorite Andrews... Andrew Bird. His soothing voice and ability to whistle have stolen my heart. Plus he is lanky and has dark hair... I am pretty sure that we are getting married (the only slight problem being that he MIGHT already be married. I am SO glad I am Mormon...) His new album is on early release at NPR.org and it is AMAZING. I am really looking forward to purchasing it.

Michele,
How ironic that you mention Andrew Bird. I just read a piece about him on The New York Times Web site. A quote that made me think of you was: “When Andrew plays,” she said, “we can squeeze in a lot more (in the venue) because so many of them are skinny girls with glasses.” I will have to check out his new album on NPR. I've watched a couple YouTube videos of his as sometimes I search "Andrew" just to see what others with my namesake are doing.
The article I read also did mention that he had recently ended his relationship, with who I don't know. So I wish you well. Here's the link to the article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/04/magazine/04bird-t.html
So there you have it. In some future date I will be blogging as Mrs. Andrew Bird (Dr. and Mrs?). He is coming to Murry the 25th of February and if anyone is interested in forwarding the cause of true love, you should purchase a ticket and come along.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Greatest Moments of 2009

Everyone is doing lists of the best of 2008, but that is so last year. I would like to relive the greatest moments of '09 for several reasons, but mainly because the list will be shorter and easier for me to remember.

1- Mark the Shark in Dr. Pepper pajamas (let it be known that these are in no particular order, although Dr. Pepper pjs would certainly rank high on any totem pole). Nothing like seeing people from church in the wee hours of the morning.

2- A (potentially former?) enemy coming in to save the day (and seeing me in MY pajamas I might add). This is bitter sweet because I really enjoyed despising this person in days gone by. Alas, it is hard to think poorly of someone who might not be so bad...

3- Numbers asked for and received. I wasn't even trying to go all Yenta during the Fruitland New Year's Escape, but apparently Fruitland is where the magic happens and I hope this startling new development bears fruit (did you guys see what I just did there?) because it would be awesome.

4- Quesedillas. Secret ingredient... love.

5- Jace finding a new hero in Jerome. I enjoyed him parroting the mantra "You have to work for everything in life". It seems a little insincere coming from a six year old, but oh well.

6- Dallin refusing to believe that Stewedslacker once had hair. It does seem rather unbelievable.

7- Discovering that I had already read the bookclub pick, but re-reading it (and having a good cry) anyway.

8- Forcing Stewedslacker to get best men.

9- U of U Game. It HAS been a while since I was offered little smokies as a main dish. It has also been a while since I was propositioned for random makeouts with pseudo strangers. Nice to think that I still got it...

10- Forcing Tatum Tot into a chick flick with the chicks. There is nothing shameful in crying about Dear Frankie. I'm not made of stone, people.

11- Corey's engagement. I applaud someone who can break up with the "love of [their] life" (his words, not mine. I also believe the term soul mate was thrown out there) and be engaged to someone completely new in less than two months. Apparently the heart IS a fickle creature.

12- Reconnecting with old friends. There is a strange comfort in being able to speak to someone who you haven't seen in years and feeling like there has been no space or distance. Those are the relationships that last. In a world of artificial intimacy and forced closeness, genuine friendship is refreshing.

13- Mount Timpanogas Temple trip. I like that place. It is like chicken soup for the Provo resident's soul, when the Provo temple is closed for scheduled maintenance.

14- Realization (based on Christmas gifts) that my family might think that I am depressed... This may or may not be the discussion of a future blog post. Probably not as we all know that my blog post promises mean very little.

15- Our apartment becomes roughly the equivalent of a Motel 6. Who will be sleeping here? Who knows, but we will leave the light on, and the space heater.

Wow... I am not even halfway through the list. 09 is going to be pretty intense if judged by the activities thus far.